The valley is deep.
We were discussing the verse “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” at my GriefShare class last week and one of the ladies who had just lost her husband was sharing her discouragement.
When you are walking through a valley, it can feel as though there is no way out. Dark, hopeless, endless. As though nothing will ever be the same, be normal, be tolerable ever again.
Maybe you are walking through a valley right now. Maybe you just experienced a great loss – the death of a loved one, the realization that a dream won’t come to fruition, a divorce or loss of relationship. Maybe you are in the dead center of battling an addiction or walking through it with a loved one. Whatever your valley is, I can relate to the deep struggle of putting one foot in front of the other when all you want to do is quit.
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The valley is deep.
I was explaining to my husband the other day that sometimes this grief process feels like walking smack dab into a glass door. You’re minding your own business, feeling ok-ish, and all of a sudden WHACK! – there’s the grief. On some level you knew it was there all along, but it’s still jarring.
The questions of “what if” and guilt trips of “I should have” threaten again.
The fear that you’ll forget what your loved one looked like, sounded like pounds at your mind’s door.
The exhaustion of just getting through the day practically takes you out.
The valley is deep.
I often catch myself thinking about my life and my family as we were “before.” Before my dad was diagnosed, before those horrible weeks, before his death. It’s like my mind just needs something that feels normal. And then I shake my head and realize that he’s gone, what once was will never be again.
Maybe you relive your loss, or your mistakes, or your choices. Maybe you just can’t get your mind to stop. You don’t like going to bed at night because everything is quiet and you can’t put off the dread any longer. Maybe you just want to sleep all the time because it’s the only time you get any relief.
The valley is deep.
The mountains on either side tower over you, looming reminders of where you wish you could be. Mocking you as you try to scramble up the sides rather than keep walking the lonely trail through the valley. Their beauty is almost insulting and you just want to scream “IT WILL NEVER BE LIKE IT ONCE WAS!”
But you just keep choosing to put one foot in front of the other. Some days, the journey is easier than others. Some days, you’re able to look up and see the beauty around you. Other days, it’s all you can do not to throw yourself down and quit altogether.
The valley is deep.
In this world, you will have troubles. But take heart, I have overcome the world. (Jn 16:33)
Jesus never said our road would be easy, and he never said we would not experience pain in this fallen world. His entire message throughout the Bible is rescue, hope, and peace through a relationship with Him while we walk in this world. And the most humbling thing, is that He is walking with us. He promises to be near to the brokenhearted. (Ps 34:18)
If you reach out, you’ll feel Him. If you glance up, you’ll see Him. If you stumble, He’ll be there. If you aren’t sure which way to go next, He’ll direct you. If you just can’t go on, He’ll hold you and cry with you.
The valley may be deep, but we don’t walk it alone.
The valley may be deep, but it is not endless.
The valley may be deep, but our God is greater.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff they comfort me. (Ps 23)
Like a good shepherd, a good hiking partner – he provides for every need. He is prepared for the journey. He has resources we didn’t have time to grab before we were thrown into this valley.
My heart still hurts, the pain still surprises me, my loss is still achingly real.
But when I turn to my Savior, who is walking right beside me, He always offers His strength.
When I am at the end of myself, He is more than enough for me.
The valley is deep.
But we are not without hope.
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