Choose hope. I’ve heard that phrase and said it myself many times. But what does it really mean? Is it looking forward to something? Happy thoughts that push away the bad ones? What does it really mean to choose hope. While I’m no expert or theologian, God has taught be a lot about what hope really is and what it means to make a conscious decision to choose hope even in the most painful times.
When my dad died, I didn’t know the journey I was about to go on with God.
Here’s an excerpt from my new book, My Grief Story: A Simple Journal for Processing the Pain of Loss While Holding on to Hope:
There are a lot more choices to make on this journey of grief than I expected. You’ve probably found this out as well. Once we’ve chosen to begin and to start the healing process, and now that we’ve made the decision to believe that God is who He says He is and does what He says He will – what now? Where does that leave us? I think it leaves us at another fork in the road. We can stop here, turn back, or continue onward carrying all that we’ve learned along with us.
Anna J. Seeley
On most of the mountain hikes I’ve been on, there’s an especially beautiful outlook about three quarters of the way to the peak. It’s got great views of where you’ve come from and it’s often a good place to stop for a break, as the climb is beginning to get a little more difficult. The thing is, a lot of people turn back around here. It’s easier to go back down the mountain than it is to continue on. And while there is nothing wrong with that, I would say that the best views are the ones from the top. The views that you enjoy with your heart pounding and your legs trembling from the work it took you to get there. When you can raise your hands in victory and say – I did it! I made it! I didn’t give up.
What will keep us going up this mountain path that is grieving? Hope. Hope that something better is coming. Hope that there is joy and purpose to be found in continuing on. Hope that we’ll be able to raise our hands in victory and say “I didn’t give up.” Hope that each stumble, each tear and frustration, each hard fought step forward was worth it.
Hope is a daily journey – a moment by moment choice to say yes to trusting in God’s plan and to say no to fear, lies, bitterness, hatred, anger, guilt, shame. “
How do we choose hope?
Here are five ways God has been teaching me to choose hope intentionally every day, especially while grieving.
Hold on to what is serving you.
Take a moment to consider what has been helpful to you on this journey. Allow yourself to keep memories in the front of your mind or in front of your eyes as you continue on.
Release what is harming you.
Taking time to think about what is preventing you from making forward progress is essential to healing. Guilt, fear, shame, toxic relationships – they have no place in your life. They are not helping you work toward healing and wholeness. Acknowledge what is harming you. Seek wise counsel. Then lay them at the feet of Jesus and leave them there.
Tether yourself to the Rock.
Without something to keep you steady, you’ll be tossed in the wind and waves. You’ll soon feel as though you’re drowning. Even if it’s only one small practice a day, train yourself to reach for Jesus when you feel the emotional chaos of grief crashing down on you. Say a prayer. Memorize or read a verse. Call a friend and ask them to pray over or with you. You are not alone and each time you practice going to God for help, you tie yourself even tighter to the Rock that will never move, even in the most brutal of storms.
Worship in the tension.
We live in the now and not yet. As believers, we have the opportunity to lean into abundant lives here in our temporary home while also looking forward to the splendor of our forever Kingdom home with Jesus. When we worship God in the pain now, we connect ourselves to that future that will be ours someday. That future home where there is no crying or pain or death. Only light and true life. Worshiping in the tension now means declaring God is good even when our circumstances are anything but.
Keep your gaze upward.
You’ll be tempted to only look down, taking one step at a time. You may be tempted to look side to side to see how others grieve or to compare yourself in some way. You might want to look to someone or something else to help you manage the pain of loss. But when you look up, to the God who made you and loves you beyond measure, that is when you’ll begin to see His perfect plan in all of this. That is when you’ll feel Him come even closer to you.
Friend, say yes to the hope that does not disappoint. Say yes to continuing on this journey. Don’t stop now. Choose hope.