I’ve always spent alot of time “in my head.” Dreaming, pondering, worrying, and wondering has always come naturally to me. That’s not to say I had a healthy view of self for most of my life – I didn’t. I’ve lived a lot of my years thinking something is wrong with me or that I’d missed something. I’ve always believed in God, but not until the last few years have I really started to walk in the belief that He made me the way that I am on purpose for a purpose.
Learning about the enneagram changed my life because it put words to what I’d spent years confused about. Knowing that I identify as a type 4 (the “romantic individualist”), makes my constant desire to find myself and my significance in this world make a lot more sense. Type fours fear a lack of identity and uniqueness, so we spend a lot of time trying to figure out who we are. We can be described as self absorbed at times, and spend a lot of time in our heads – rehashing the past, imagining scenarios and playing out different emotional situations in our heads.
Although I can definitely be unhealthy in my constant wondering, there are some benefits to being a healthy four with a healthy view of oneself in light of the Gospel. Taking time to think about identity is something that comes naturally to me; however, understanding my self, my identity and my worth took me a very long time (still learning).
Writing and answering questions has been really helpful on my journey, and when a friend was going through a difficult time trying to figure out who they were in a new season, I wrote down a list of questions to work through.
This list is not all inclusive, but I think that it gets to the heart of what I’ve learned so far in my journey to understand myself through God’s eyes. Start with what God says about who HE is, then move to what He says about you, His beloved creation. Then, don’t be afraid to take time to figure out what is important to you – what makes you light up and what you’re not so great at. God made you on purpose for a purpose and part of living into that is understanding your unique gifts and callings in Him. Whether it’s via the enneagram, strengths finder, or simply writing and asking God to reveal things to you (in my opinion, all three!), learning where you can grow and identifying your gifts are so crucial to living a life of purpose.
Tips for using journaling and asking questions to grow personally:
- Print the pdf so you have the questions handy.
- Pick up a new journal so that all your answers are in one place.
- Don’t try to answer all the questions in one sitting.
- Talk through some questions with a trusted friend or your spouse.
- It’s okay if you don’t know the answers right away.
- Remind yourself that learning about who God made you to be is a journey – one full of grace and one where He is walking right beside you.
Questions about God
- What does the Bible say about God?
- Who does the Bible say God is?
- What does the Bible say about me?
- Who does God say that I am?
Questions relating to personality tools
- What does the enneagram say about me?
- What does God say about my specific enneagram personality type?
- What core desire of mine has God already met?
- What does the Strengths Finder, the DISC and/or the Myers-Briggs say about me?
- How does what I’ve learned from tools line up with what I know God says about me?(i.e. type 4s desire to be unique and also understood. The Bible says that God sees us and loves us for exactly who we are because He made us special and unique.)
Questions about Me
- What do I like?
- What do I dislike?
- What makes me angry?
- What brings me joy?
- What do I like to do in my free time?
- What do I like to do with other people?
- Do I get refueled by being alone or with people?
- What refuels me?
- What is important to me?
- What qualities in people are most attractive to me?
- What qualities in others are most important to me?
- What do I secretly wish I could tell people?
Questions about Strengths and Weaknessess
- What am I good at?
- What am I not so good at?
- What areas do I struggle in personally?
- What areas do I struggle in relationally?
- What areas do I struggle in physically?
- What areas do I struggle in mentally?
- What areas do I struggle in emotionally?
- What areas do I struggle in spiritually?
- What are my strengths?
- What are my weaknesses?
- What are my strengths in relationship? Weaknesses?
- What are my strengths in my job? Weaknesses?
- What are my strengths in daily life? Weaknesses?
- What are my strengths in the way that I think and see the world?
- What are my weaknesses in the way I view the world?
Questions about Goals and the Future
- Where do I see myself in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? when I’m 80?
- What do I want to accomplish with my life?
- Do I want a family?
- What does a family look like to me?
- What do I hope for when my mind wanders?
- What does living on purpose mean to me?
- What does living intentionally look like to me?
- What is one thing I could do today to be more intentional?
- Is there something deep down in my heart that I think God placed there?
- What am I believing about myself that isn’t true?
What from my past am I still telling myself is my future? - What are my top 3 priorities?
Questions about beliefs
- What are my political leanings?
- Why do I feel that way?
- Is is Biblical or do I need to go learn more and flesh it out?
- What are my spiritual denominational leanings?
- Why do I feel that way?
- Is is Biblical or do I need to go learn more and flesh it out?
- What are my beliefs about hot topic issues inside the church and in todays society?
- Why do I feel that way?
- Is is Biblical or do I need to go learn more and flesh it out?
This list is just an example of questions that you can use to get to know yourself better. Knowing more about yourself leads to understanding. Understanding yourself leads to a clearer picture of your purpose and your goals. Having a clearer picture of purpose and goals allows you to spend time on what actually matters to you, which in turn gives you joy and confidence in knowing that you are leaning in to who God made you to be.
Grab the free question list here!